Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Alex had me thinking a lot.
It's one of those serious deep thinking conversations.
About love, personality, life and all.
I started thinking about my life.
Which direction I'm heading towards.
What I want from it. And everything.
If I really do wanna save wild cats and wolves and blahh next time.
Is it something I want more than dance?
It's more practical though. Cause if I do get my vet degree.
I can turn one round back to Singapore and settle down to support my family.
I mean no point going for something and be stuck somewhere but trying so hard to make ends meet and all?
Granted, a dream is a dream. There will be failures.
But I will not give myself this opportunity to fall so badly that I hit a dead end and allow my family to suffer for my mistakes in choices.
Guess there has to be a balance between dreams and being practical about it.
I will make a side trip some where to dance at a point of time in my life.
That's definitely, Cause hey. I do love dance. And I do wanna live my life to the fullest.
But it's not gonna be my main highlight of it.
Cause I do know, to live my life to the fullest, I need to be able to support my family well.
I can't let my parents take this risk with me. I can't.
Can you imagine. You're doing the thing you love
And yet you're risking the fact that you might actually have to compromise their "could be well to do life?" The people who brought you up and all.
If I'm gonna be alone in this, it's fine. But the fact that I have other people around me. )):
And if I were to risk their lives and to make ends meet.
It's as good as bullshit life to me. I won be able to live with the guilt.
Because I could have provided them with that nice life.
This whole thing is subjective. It's just personal opinion.
It's a matter of perspective. And for me, I can't do it.
I haven't had self reflection days for extremely long.
Gah. I'm rambling.
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And for love, I just pray that Lord will actually send someone right into my life.
And at the right time. Meaning. When I'm mature enough for everything.
And that everything will work out fine. There will be no more weird obstacles.
Someone that I can truly love. Someone who truly loves me.
But yet, we can be both independent in our own ways.
Someone. Mature enough to hold a conversation.
Has a deep thought side of him. But yet fun to be with.
Till then, let me continue having fun playing. laughing.
Being baby-ish blur-ish, bird-ish me.
Melody
It's one of those serious deep thinking conversations.
About love, personality, life and all.
I started thinking about my life.
Which direction I'm heading towards.
What I want from it. And everything.
If I really do wanna save wild cats and wolves and blahh next time.
Is it something I want more than dance?
It's more practical though. Cause if I do get my vet degree.
I can turn one round back to Singapore and settle down to support my family.
I mean no point going for something and be stuck somewhere but trying so hard to make ends meet and all?
Granted, a dream is a dream. There will be failures.
But I will not give myself this opportunity to fall so badly that I hit a dead end and allow my family to suffer for my mistakes in choices.
Guess there has to be a balance between dreams and being practical about it.
I will make a side trip some where to dance at a point of time in my life.
That's definitely, Cause hey. I do love dance. And I do wanna live my life to the fullest.
But it's not gonna be my main highlight of it.
Cause I do know, to live my life to the fullest, I need to be able to support my family well.
I can't let my parents take this risk with me. I can't.
Can you imagine. You're doing the thing you love
And yet you're risking the fact that you might actually have to compromise their "could be well to do life?" The people who brought you up and all.
If I'm gonna be alone in this, it's fine. But the fact that I have other people around me. )):
And if I were to risk their lives and to make ends meet.
It's as good as bullshit life to me. I won be able to live with the guilt.
Because I could have provided them with that nice life.
This whole thing is subjective. It's just personal opinion.
It's a matter of perspective. And for me, I can't do it.
I haven't had self reflection days for extremely long.
Gah. I'm rambling.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
And for love, I just pray that Lord will actually send someone right into my life.
And at the right time. Meaning. When I'm mature enough for everything.
And that everything will work out fine. There will be no more weird obstacles.
Someone that I can truly love. Someone who truly loves me.
But yet, we can be both independent in our own ways.
Someone. Mature enough to hold a conversation.
Has a deep thought side of him. But yet fun to be with.
Till then, let me continue having fun playing. laughing.
Being baby-ish blur-ish, bird-ish me.
Melody
at 12:40 AM
